Author: AfroCocktail

Vanitah

We would literally have kept this within our landlocked Uganda but having exchanged a few stories with other residents from the great African continent I quickly realized that the tales from our homes are abit similar even with our different demographics hence the broadening of the spectrum.

So it’s graduation week in Uganda right now and this got me thinking of how great it would be to talk about How the Education acquiring experience is in an African home so buckle up.

Childhoods in African households are pretty much mapped out by attending school where you seriously face your books during the week and attend church on Sunday. You are pretty much expected to be the best and most displined student but this still won’t save you from getting punished for not doing better than what you are already bringing to the table or just for not living up to your parents outrageous expectations for example you could have 96% in mathematics but you will still get questioned about where the 4% is and why you didn’t get it too. Coming in second best in class is not enough and just be ready for the inquiries about the person who managed to get the first position in the class and if he/she has three heads or if both of you don’t attend the same class. And this inquisition is always followed by a lamentation of how ungrateful you are of the opportunity they are according you as well as a day dream like narration of all the things they could have accomplished if they were the ones blessed enough to be equipped with half of the resources you possess. You will be reminded of how easy you have it in comparison to their time in school. This would be followed with stories of how they had to wake so early everyday and walk long distances to fetch water for their parents before they went on a cross country journey just to get to school and how they still managed to be the best in their class despite all the challenges🤦🏾‍♀️.

Any slight backsliding in your academic performance and your parents are already convinced that you are turning into a criminal <same goes for if you show any interest in anything they don’t consider worthy or respectable enough for the child to be partaking in>

Then this brings to the life long battle that is choosing a career to pursue and when it comes to this, the expectations in an African household are pretty much traditional and straight forward. A few careers such as law, engineering and medicine are perceived to be better than others (choreography, acting, music, fashion designing or anything in the arts and creative industry because this is a very hopeless field to them). A mention or slight show of interest in any of this area will be quickly shut down because they are not real jobs. Everyone that knows African parents knows that they are all about and the ability to speak proudly and confidently about their children when conversing with their friends, colleagues as well as other members so them being able to confidently talk about you being a lawyer or a doctor is much easier than them trying to support your new career venture. Much as this is their mentality, you should not be discouraged to step out of the box and pursue what you are really passionate about because once the money starts coming in and you can take care of them, all the fussing will be gone with the wind. In simple terms they prefer the traditional careers because to them these seem more secure and a somewhat guarantee that you won’t end up poor or homeless. All in all they are just worried and scared of the unknown.

Christine

So my version of growing up African…

I loooved everything foreign that is American or European. As long as it wasn’t African, Ugandan mostly…then it was cool. Tbh so did many of my friends. We abhorred speaking our local languages, finding it “local”. When I further analysed this though, I realized this shame stemmed all the way from school where speaking anything non English a.k.a vernacular resulted in absurd punishments like wearing a sack the whole day…I mean what was that about? Even the kind of music we drifted to….like I’d know the entire lyrics to a Beyonce song and be clueless about those in my mother tongue resulting in being referred to as “cool” and we all know how when growing up that’s all you wanted to be…hence an endless cycle of evolving in everything foreign but my culture. Our people’s ways became the outlier, a tragedy realized as I grew up.

So what have I learnt thus far….my culture is rich, beautiful and different and I cannot believe it took me this long. I looove melanin skin (seriously cannot believe it’s not everyone ‘s envy yet) plus this kinky hair craze going on, I’ve never been more in love with my once impossible-to-comb hair. Not that I dislike anything non African, I’ve just reached a balance where my taste is independent of origin where my kinda cool is just based on preference for example I love myself a good Jeffery Archer novel but Chimamanda Ngozi, there’s just something about her literature that reminds me of home. I have found the best of both worlds a fine in between, a deep love for everything home and an appreciation for the rest. I am still exploring, still learning and still growing up African.

Derrick

I think it’s so weird that I’ve never really felt bad that I was born African. I don’t mean that I have not admired other cultures, but wishing I was born of a different culture is not something I’ve indulged in. I guess its because I’ve lived a good life and I cannot complain. Well lets dive into my feelings about this title more:

This is how I’ve always looked at life; We are all human beings, all with the capability of achieving whatever we set our minds too. This fact does not rule out whether you are black, white, asian, or even brown. As a child, color didn’t mean anything until I started learning about racism.

Growing up African wasn’t always easy for me though hehe. The fear of parents was way too much. I recall dad would come back home from work and we (my siblings and I) would all clear out of the living room and go hide in our bedrooms. I feel like we missed out on having a closer relationship with our parents because of the fear of punishment heheh. The punishment here was real! That’s something I wish I had earlier even though after the third child is born, Parents become so chilled out and the punishment disappears. It’s therefore hard out here growing up the first born of an African 😅. I guess the fear was our kind respect but oh well! I wish that could be changed a bit

Growing up African, I also had the opportunity to travel to different countries and have a taste of what’s out there. And guess what I fell in love with some aspects out there. I mean I love so many things about the African culture most especially the music and the dancing. That’s just definitely the aspect i love the most! The Arts are way ahead here. However when it comes to Innovation, Engineering, Planning and many other aspects, which are things that I really love Africa is way behind. I’m really hoping my career prospects will be beneficial and influential to the development of those aspects of Africa.

I guess a little exposure has led to me live while to merging a variety of cultures. This pop-culture is all about what’s new, what’s aesthetic and also living a good Absolute Fun Quality Of life without changing all the fundamental amazing qualities of the African Culture that I’ve grown up in.

Any thoughts and experiences on growing up African? Leave us a comment below this post.

Vanitah + Christine + Derrick

Vanitah

So my non existent new year excitement has finally died down and now I have to think and plan for what I want to see and achieve in the coming twelve months. With the mentality that I Will only Reap What I sow. I decided to jot down some of my resolutions for the new year (some these are totally new to me while others I adapted to in the midst of the previous year and I thought I should keep them).

– Going to bed on time. My insomnia tends to get the best of me but if I can manage to get more than 5 hours of sleep that could be helpful especially with my crazy schedule. 

-Drinking more water. I tend to forget this at times and when I do remember, I prefer drinking hot water to cold water. Plus I know my hair and skin Will Definitely Thank me for it. 

– Praying more. To me this is more like having a conversation with God where i thank for his abundant love. I talk about my feelings and plans as well as ask for guidance. 

– Working out 🏋️‍♀️ I think it’s about time me and the gym work on this off and on relationship we have. 

– Eating more fruits 🍉🍓🍇🍌🥭🥑and vegetables 🌶 🥗🥦🥕. I love my fruits and veggies but at times I forget to eat them as often as I should. I feel like my once a day is not enough so I will definitely have to do better.

– Travel…I have a few countries that i would love to see on my bucket list and i believe it wouldn’t hurt to knock one or two of them off of that list this year🤷🏾‍♀️.

– Be kinder to myself. I tend to be more sympathetic and understanding towards others but too hypercritical towards myself. Like I will give someone the benefit of the doubt if something goes wrong but when it comes to me I will be like I should have done more to prevent that from happening. This year I choose to believe in myself, respect myself and treat me well with all the kindness I can muster because I can’t control how kind other people are to me but can sure as hell control how kind I am to me. 

– Read more. I love reading novels so I definitely wouldn’t mind cheating on my phone and tv with a good book or two.

– Saving…With the online shopping and the fuzzy feeling of money literally burning holes in our wallet (the itch to spend every penny), the saving culture can be one of those difficult things to adapt but once taken upon, you never regret. 

– Telling my loved ones what they really mean to me. We never know when it can be the last time we are seeing or talking to certain individuals because life works and evolves in mysterious ways. I get that i tend to be absorbed and busy with my own endeavors and tasks but I know that this should not stop me from letting people know that I love and care about them. After all actions speak louder than words. So i hope i get better in 2019.

Christine

Well this beautiful blog (I hope you find it beautiful) was borne in the amazing mind of Vanitah.  It’s now the three of us, me and Derrick included. Initially, it was to be a guide to melanin hair kind of thing, until we realized, being a person of color is more than just hair. Being Africans by decent, Ugandans to be specific, we have so much more to share about our traditions, culture, interests and just generally things we care about. We know this platform is just the place and we are excited to embark on this amazing journey.

So my resolutions this year:

-Remember to cut myself some slack. I am only human after all.

-Love myself first. I know this sounds like an anthem but when you’re at a point of utmost self love, you love everyone and everything better and most of all you’re happy.

-Which brings me to the third. I am going to choose to be happy regardless and see the good in all situations. Yes, happiness actually is a choice and is one that I am putting above all else this year.

-Face all situations head on. I used to have a tendency of sweeping things under the rug…well no more. I am going to wear my big girl pants and face the good and the bad and hopefully learn and grow from it. I believe this is what we’re created for: to grow and learn.

-Make a difference however small in my community. Whether it means giving to the needy on the streets or committing to a charity, I would like to bless someone the way I’ve been blessed and give them a reason to live. Even if it’s just for a day, I want to bring a smile on their face.

-Lose the weight I earnestly gained the past year. This I have started diligently already. I have learnt consistency is key. 1 day of cardio a week does not erase the 7 days of junk (I’ve learned the hard way).

-Read at least one non-fiction book a month. Again, learning is the best way to grow.

-Do everything like as if it’s the only thing I can do well at that moment. I hope this helps me commit and do things better and with more passion.

– Read my bible and pray everyday. I am a Christian in faith and deed and I choose this path daily because I’ve come through my most trying and beautiful life moments as a result of believing in something bigger than myself. To me, being Christian is a lifestyle of humility, empathy, charity, love and most of all service above self. This is the basis of all that I am and growing to be.

Derrick

Seated in my favorite a bar alone on the first Friday night of the year I decided to finish my write up for the first blog on Afrococktail. It’s so weird I’m alone in this somewhat crowded place but I’m so happy. This year 2019 is definitely going to be a good year. Like I’ve just been texting a friend of mine, it’s all about good vibes! I’m so excited for this journey with my close friends Vanitah + Christine on this blog. It’s going to be a crazy ride, you’ll need to hold on! Before I start on stating my New Year’s Resolutions, I know you’re all asking yourselves why I’m alone in my favorite bar. I’m not a loner. It just so happened that one of my best friends stood me up. Anyway for my New Year’s resolutions, I will share with you only a few because I’m one of those people with soooo many. And yes! I will be surely ticking them off one by one this year, I said.

– I want to enjoy life more! I’m one of those people who always wish for the perfect moment and at times I get to miss what’s right infront of me because I have a better way it could have happened in my mind. For example if this was 2018, I would have left this bar like 10 minutes after entering and being alone but I realized that the music is great, the drinks are cold AF and the crowd is beautiful. Plus I’m having me-time. Sounds chilled, right?!

– I want to share more about my life. With this 2019, I get to have two blogs running at the same time. Which means an extra story of my life everytime I Post. I feel that with sharing what we are going through we reach out to many people in the same experience. Well we also entertain, I hope hahaha.

– I want to love more and say it out loud more. Many times we don’t even tell our mums we love them let alone our friends. We need to share our feelings more. It doesn’t take anything away form us so what the hell!!!!

– I also want to be extremely productive. I recently started working at my first job at the age of 23 and damn, works hard but weirdly fulfilling, ON PAYDAY. Haha

Anyway long blog post cut short! I’m excited to have you on this blog. It’s going to be amazing considering I’ve co-blogged with both Christine and Vanitah on my blog at the posts are both a hit! Let’s do this!!!

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton